Brass Letter Opener.
This is the third letter opener to be featured here, and also gets deployed once in a while.
Sadly it never opens personal letters from overseas, just bills that have yet to go electronic and the odd official document.
“This is the night mail crossing the Border,
Bringing the cheque and the postal order,
Letters for the rich, letters for the poor,
The shop at the corner, the girl next door.
Letters of thanks, letters from banks,
Letters of joy from girl and boy,
Receipted bills and invitations
To inspect new stock or to visit relations,
And applications for situations,
And timid lovers’ declarations,
And gossip, gossip from all the nations,
News circumstantial, news financial,
Letters with holiday snaps to enlarge in,
Letters with faces scrawled on the margin,
Letters from uncles, cousins, and aunts,
Letters to Scotland from the South of France,
Letters of condolence to Highlands and Lowlands
Written on paper of every hue,
The pink, the violet, the white and the blue,
The chatty, the catty, the boring, the adoring,
The cold and official and the heart’s outpouring,
Clever, stupid, short and long,
The typed and the printed and the spelt all wrong.
Night Mail, W.H. Auden
Status: Create one minute looping film of letters being sealed and opened.
Kill-ratio: 28:2 / 14:1
Alt-title: Untitled Object No. 343 For Poking Fun At Gossip.